Money & Life
It seems like everyone around me is struggling. Either with their emotions, finances, or both. I want to help them, but I have no way to help with finances, and no matter what I say, I can’t make them happy. They come to me to vent and relieve their stress, but I feel like I’m not doing anything to help them. I wish I could give Lex a million dollars so they could be happy and live in harmony. I wish I could relieve Shana’s stresses about her mother so she can go on with her life and focus on her future. I want these things, but it’s so hard, and it seems to bear down on me. I am eroding away with all of these emotions, and it makes me sad to see them like they are. I try to help out by lending what cash I have, and taking them around to get applications at places. When I help them, I feel good at the moment but then later on, I see they are only the same as they were before. I, too, am struggling to find a job… To gain money that I need so I can save up for my future. Why is it so hard? Has the job economy really gotten that full? I have to fill out a million applications just so I can get one interview with a manager. It’s ridiculous, and the government “wonders” what’s happening. It shows us that we have to make good decisions throughout our early stages of life, but it also shows that if we don’t make those good decisions, it’s hard to make a living after we learn from those mistakes. I wish things were easier for everyone, not just me… Because everyone deserves happiness.
Samurai Champloo Cosplay
This is so cute! They really did a good job with their costumes! Way to go! I want to cosplay Fuu. ;-;
J-Horror
Premonition and Infection are the first two “J-Horror” films I have seen. They are scary, freaky, and a couple of the few movies that have really creeped me out. Anyway, I totally suggest watching them or collecting them if you are a fan of horror flicks. I know I am. E-bay, here I come!
Writer’s Block
Lately I have been wanting to write. I want to write poems and stories. Every time I pull up ScribeFire, my mind goes completely blank. I have these ideas and thoughts of what to write, but then it disappears. I hate writer’s block. Any other time, when I’m not in the mood to write, I have great things sounding out in my mind. Now, when I want to write, it doesn’t show. A mind is a mysterious thing. Why can’t the words come out? Why can’t I express what I want to say, without being confused? Things come out as a mess. I hate writer’s block.
Burning Ember
There’s no way I can explain it. It’s just there. A burning ember in my chest. It screams and tells me things I cannot ignore. I can feel it beating inside of me. There’s a feeling I get when I talk to him, and the ember grows brighter, warmer. I cannot explain how I feel. Is it too soon? Maybe, but there is no stopping it now. I feel the desperation to be loved to feel loved, wanting it all. I dare not change that feeling, because there is a voice deep inside of me telling me that I will be alone forever. I ignore those voices and stay true to that burning, growing ember that burns behind my breast. What it emits, I listen. I hear the messages it sends and I respond the best I can. My mind tells me things differently, but I cannot bear the thoughts. It is burning, can you feel it? It is beating, can you hear it? It is growing, can’t you see it?
Furcadia Furre
Love
I recently saw an old couple (in their 70’s, I think) walking out of an ice cream store holding hands. It made my heart melt. I want to be deeply in love with a person when I am that old. I want to be able to look at my spouse and smile, still having those butterfly feelings in my stomach. Love seems to be so rare with me. Well, I fall in love too easily, but it’s not the same with other people. I wonder, is it lust? Possibly, but I cannot explain it fully–it’s confusing. I hope I find that special someone who will still whisper sweet nothings into my ear even after years of marriage. I want him to feel like he would never think of leaving me. It would be so great. That elderly couple had smiles in their aged faces, but they still saw the love that continued to burn in their hearts after all those years of marriage. That’s what I want.
<3
ScribeFire for Firefox
ScribeFire – Fire Up Your Blogging!
Wow. I have to say thank you to Miles for this add-on to Firefox. It’s easy, quick, and will definitely make my blogging easier. Check it out, and if you don’t have Mozilla Firefox, get it!!
Writing Prompt: Words that hurt me…
When someone throws a rock into shallow water, it splashes and causes a wave of ripples. This is what these words do when they are thrown at me. The insults and lies that pour out of their mouths fills me with sadness and hatred. I’m fat, stupid, selfish. I’m a bitch, a liar, a backstabber. I don’t think about others and I act like a child. When you tell me, I am angry, but then hurt. I feel betrayed and alone, I depress easily. I feel as if no one likes me, and I cannot be myself without making someone hate me. To be myself is to die alone, and to die alone is the worst kind of punishment that could ever be laid upon me. I never want to be alone, and this relishes in my personality. I try to please people any way I can, and still try to be myself. I do not like to smile much unless I am nervous, extremely happy, or laughing. I will smile if you do, but it is not genuine. It is not real, but polite. It is because of all of the timeless occasions I was teased and tormented as a child and young adult. Maybe I am being too sensitive. Although these accusations are thrown at me, some of them are true… You just have to know me before you should believe what others say or what you read.
xoxo
Linds
